In search of what's next

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

The Left that Stole Christmas

Hat tip to my friend HShake...Thanks for the email!

by Robert Roper with respect to Dr. Seuss

All the folks in the Red States liked Christmas a lot
But the Blues in the Blue States did NOT.

The Blues hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, we have to ask why? Is there any good reason?
It could be their heads aren’t screwed on just right.

It could be perhaps that they just like to fight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
Is that twelve years in the minority has taken its toll.

But wherever their problems,
In their hearts or their heads,
The Blues stood there on Christmas hating the Reds.

Together they growled with their Blue fingers drumming,
“We must find some way to stop Christmas from coming!
“We must steal all their wreaths and nativity scenes,
“And Santa Claus, too, and all of the trees!”

“We’ll stop them from caroling all through the streets.
“We’ll make them feel guilty for enjoying their feasts!
“To teach these Reds tolerance… fairness… diversity,
“We must obliterate Christmas entirely…

You see?”

Then they got an idea!
An awful idea.
The Blues got a wonderful awful idea.

“I know just what we’ll do,” chortled one of the Blues.
“We’ll send ten thousand lawyers to all their kids’ schools!
“We’ll sue Christmas away, and when we’re done there,
“We’ll do just the same to every town square!”

Then they slithered and slunk, with smiles most unpleasant
Cleaned out every classroom, and cancelled the pageants.
They stuffed all the decorations away in their bags,
“And, as long as we’re here, let’s rip down the Flag.”

They took baby Jesus, they took all of the lights,
They took every present that was out in plain sight,
From every kid’s school and every town hall,
No Christmas was left… the Blues took it all.

They took it three thousand miles to a California Court
That knew just how to dispose of stuff of this sort.
“Pooh-Pooh to the Reds,” they were Bluishly humming.
“They’re finding out now that no Christmas is coming!
“They’re just waking up, we know just what they’ll do!
“Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
“Then the Reds in the Red States will all cry BOO-HOO.
“That is a sound that we simply must hear!”

Then the Blues put their hands to their ears,
And did hear a sound –but it was their worst fear…
No screaming or crying, just a long thoughtful hush,
As the Reds in the Red States were busy voting for Bush.

The Blues stared at the Red States!
They popped out their eyes!
Then they shook!
What they saw was a shocking surprise!
And the Blues with their feet ice cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?”
And they puzzled and puzzled for three hours that day,
But the poor Blues learned nothing,
“Those Reds must hate gays.”


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